In this month of May, we celebrate our mothers. This piece is coming out later than I would have liked, but once a mom, always a mom.
If you are not a mom, or a woman, you are still special. Think about the ways you are special.
Think about a mom who is special to you.
Most of us have a habit of paying attention to and taking care of everyone else; then we find ourselves running on empty. Women especially have been trained to focus on everyone else.
What if you give yourself permission to intentionally affirm and care for yourself? What would that look like? What would that feel like in your body? Ask yourself how you can build time into your schedule to intentionally rewire your nervous system for living at ease.
Make yourself a priority rather than an afterthought. Even 3 to 5 minutes at strategic points throughout your day can make a difference.
Use Intentional Relaxation Breathing:
One anxiety expert I learned from urges people to engage in intentional relaxation breathing for 3 minutes every day. Begin by doing this when you are already feeling calm. This teaches our bodies what it feels like to engage this practice on purpose. It teaches our bodies what it is like to feel safe. You might practice intentional breathing when you go to bed. It will have the added benefit of helping you wind down and drift more easily into sleep. Once you are able to embody intentional breathing, it will be easier to use the process during transitions between activities or before entering situations you anticipate will be stressful. You will be more able to use this practice in moments when you need to slow down your nervous system.
What Fills Your Cup?
Ask yourself what brings you joy. Make a list of those items and post it where you will see it when you most need it. Then make a commitment to making time and space in your life to bring those activities into reality. Engaging in self-care activities will increase your confidence and deepen your love for yourself. You may also find that when you make time for yourself, you have more energy to show up for your loved ones.
Here are a couple of simple exercises that might inspire your creative thinking.
The Most Loving Thing:
“Write the following question on a Post-it note: “What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” Put that question on your computer, in your kitchen, or on your mirror. A couple of times per day, stop what you’re doing and ask yourself, “What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”
The answer might be to get a sip of water, step outside for some fresh air, phone a friend, or speak more lovingly to yourself. Then, do that action and see how your happiness set-point rises.”
© Shimoff & Associates, Inc. 2024
If I Loved Myself…
Before making a decision, ask yourself “If I truly loved myself, what would I do?”
Then write or reflect on the answer.
Use this prompt during stressful moments or when you feel lost. This exercise Guides decision-making from a place of self-love. It will help you train your inner voice to become kinder and help you take actions aligned with self-respect.
Inspired by: Ford, K. (2018). The self-love experiment: Fifteen principles for becoming more kind, compassionate, and accepting of yourself. TarcherPerigee.
Becoming a Mindful Mom
If you are struggling with hurt or estrangement from your adult children, consider seeking support from Juli Womack, a beautiful mom who is on a journey of healing and Finding happiness in her own right:
Reconnect With Your Grown Children
Why You Can’t Think Your Way to Happiness:
Amber Needham, Certified Happiness Trainer, and author of The Blind Girl Sees: seeing through the heart and not the eyes, offers some wonderful tips for raising your happiness set point. Check out her videos on You Tube: