In my last post you read about the first construct of your “Inner Home for Happiness,” the foundation. Today, we move to the first wall or pillar of the house, “the mind.”
Would it surprise you to know that you don’t have to believe everything you think? This is the over-arching premise of “the pillar of the mind.” Give yourself permission to cultivate healthy habits associated with “the pillar of the mind.”
“Question Your Thoughts.” Byron Katie, in her exercise “The Work,” gives us a framework for questioning our thoughts.
Healthy Habit #1
Katie encourages us to examine a thought and ask, “is this really true?” “Is it absolutely true?” Can you really know what is best in the long run for yourself or another person? How do you react when you believe that thought? How do you treat yourself and others when you believe that thought? Then ask yourself, who would I be if I didn’t believe that thought? How would I live my life if I didn’t believe that thought? Now turn the thought around. Is it true or does it turn that thought around. For each turn-around, find at least three examples of how the turn-around is true in your life. This is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It is about discovering alternatives that can bring you peace.
Healthy Habit #2
Let’s move onto the second healthy habit associated with “the pillar of the mind,” “Go beyond the mind and let go.” For many of us, letting go is a major challenge. We hold onto anger, hurt feelings and senses of injustice. When you do this, notice, where do I feel this in my body? What am I preventing myself from experiencing by holding on to this thought or feeling? Do you notice that you feel negative and contracted? Do you really want to live in that energy? How much lighter do you feel when you let go of beliefs that no longer serve you?
Healthy Habit #3
Does that feeling of lightness feel like joy? Inclining our minds toward joy is the third healthy habit associated with “the pillar of the mind.” Think back to our definition of mindfulness: being aware, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. Notice how you feel in present moments. Do you enjoy the warmth of the sun on your skin? Do you feel happy when you hear birds sing? When you savor the oozy, warm chocolate chip cookie in your mouth, do you enjoy a moment of delicious bliss? Allow yourself to savor present moments by naming the impressions through each of your senses. Allow yourself to savor these moments by basking in them for 10 to 20 seconds. Simply be a witness to your thoughts and feelings. Allow yourself to let go of judging yourself for these feelings. Name them- “this is joy!”
“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.” – Helen Keller –