As we begin our New Year, let’s complete our discussion about the Happy for No Reason Inner Home for Happiness.
The Pillar of the Garden
Our inner home for happiness would not be complete without our Pillar of the Garden. The overarching premise of this pillar is to cultivate nourishing relationships.
Habits
The habits associated with the pillar of the garden are:
- Tend to Your Relationships
- Surround Yourself With Support
- See the World as Your Family
How do you tend to your relationships?
Think of your relationships as flowers in your garden. How do you nourish your flowers to keep them alive? That’s right. You make sure they are planted in rich, fertile soil. You plant them where they will receive the right amount of sunlight. You water them regularly. In return, your flowers give you beautiful scents and colors. They even nurture other aspects of nature, and even give back to you, by feeding the bees that then give us honey.
Love as a Way of Life
As I prepared to teach my course: Let Go, Forgive, and Set Yourself Free, I discovered Gary Chapman’s book, Love as a Way of Life. In this book, Chapman outlines 7 characteristics of love that enhance relationships. These characteristics are:
- Kindness
- Appreciation
- Patience
- Courtesy
- Humility
- Generosity
- Honesty
To keep this article succinct, I will focus on kindness.
Practice Kindness
Chapman defines kindness as “Showing concern and compassion through words and actions.” I also discovered Shaunti Feldhahn’s book The Kindness Challenge: Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship. Feldhahn agrees with Chapman giving us three recommendations:
- “Refrain from speaking negatively about the person you’re focusing on, both to them and to others. This includes avoiding sarcasm, complaints, and subtle digs.”
- Offer praise: “Each day, find at least one positive attribute or action of the person and share it with someone else. This practice reinforces positive perceptions and encourages a more appreciative mindset.”
- “Perform at least one intentional act of kindness toward the person daily. This could range from small gestures like making them a cup of coffee to more significant acts like helping with a task they find challenging.”
As you practice kindness, I believe you will naturally embody the other aspects of love shared by Chapman. Just as you nourish your flowers, when you nurture your relationships, you receive acceptance, belonging and love.
Virtual Course: Let Go, Forgive, and Set Yourself Free!
Please consider registering for my virtual course, Let Go, Forgive, and Set Yourself Free! It meets from 6 to 7:30 PM Pacific Time, beginning on Thursday January 8, 2026, and extends for six Thursdays through February 12, 2026. If you are reading this after that time, it will be offered again. Register Now