In the Happy for No Reason self-help model, we learn that our sense of life satisfaction or happiness manifests on a continuum ranging from being unhappy low or dispirited, to happy for bad reasons such as addiction. The next level is happy for good reasons such as getting that dream job or finding the love of your life.
Finally, we come to being happy for no reason. As defined by Marci Shimoff in her book “Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out,” happy for no reason is defined as a state of inner peace and wellbeing that is not shaken by our circumstances.
What is your happiness set point? You may find that you experience a level of life satisfaction that hovers around a certain level. Our happiness set point is influenced 50% by genetics. 40% is determined by our beliefs, thoughts, habits, and behaviors. Our circumstances influence 10% of our happiness set point. Interestingly, we can increase our happiness set point for future generations by 95% by engaging in and modeling healthy habits.
Most of us think that if we just get that dream job, win the lottery, or long-awaited love of our life, we will be happy. We know, however, that when we rely on genetics and circumstances, we tend to return to our baseline happiness set point within one year.
We experience more lasting happiness by developing and practicing healthy habits.
Shimoff asserts that we can raise our happiness set point similarly to raising the temperature on our thermostat. When you are cold, you raise the temperature on your thermostat.
When you are unhappy, happy for unhealthy reasons, or even happy for good reasons, you can raise your happiness set point by intentionally engaging in habits that support your well-being and improve your quality of life.
Do you want to experience more consistent and productive happiness? Conduct an inventory of the habits or patterns that seem to be repeating themselves in your life.
For example, do you catch yourself complaining a lot? Did you know that blaming, shaming, and complaining are signs that you are playing the victim? Determine to change this habit.
First, notice when you hear yourself complaining. Your internal voice may repeatedly criticize you; or you may catch yourself saying these things out loud when you are in conversation with a friend. Challenge yourself to stop, name the concern, and then seek solutions. Now your process will become one of problem solving. Once you identify a solution on which you can follow through, make a commitment. Take action.
Speaking of taking action, try to play the Blame, Shame, Complain Game (suggested by Shimoff and Kline in their book Happy for no Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out.
This game helps to bring your awareness to any victimizing behaviors in which you may engage.
Find a jar or bowl and designate it as your visual record. For a week, any time you or anyone playing the game with you blames, shames, or complains, put a dollar (or a quarter, or a toothpick) in the jar.
Over time, become aware of your tendency to engage in these unhelpful habits. Also notice how the deposits lessen as your awareness increases.
At the end of the week, use the money to treat yourself or donate it to a worthy charity.
Notice, do your feelings of self-worth improve as your victim behaviors decrease? Are your interactions with people more positive and harmonious?
Look for more on this topic in future posts.
Resources: In addition to Amazon, the audio book for Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out is also available on Audible and BARD.
Everyone needs more happiness in their lives!